


naturalization status

by silentwalrus



Series: snackfic [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Aggressive Russianness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 22:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15180944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentwalrus/pseuds/silentwalrus
Summary: The official press briefing on the apprehension of the DC14 assailant draws quite the crowd, and not just because Captain America is there.





	naturalization status

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Натурализация есть? А если найду?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15401085) by [fandom_Starbucks_Roles_TwoSexyMen_2018](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_Starbucks_Roles_TwoSexyMen_2018/pseuds/fandom_Starbucks_Roles_TwoSexyMen_2018), [Tressa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tressa/pseuds/Tressa)



The official press briefing on the apprehension of the DC14 assailant draws quite the crowd, and not just because Captain America is there. There’s hardly been a day without some mention of the “Winter Soldier” in the news cycle, worked in even with the more intense revelations of the INSIGHT dump. The entire country has been in on the manhunt. Task forces have been mustered. Fingers have been held to the wind. And now, after eight months, the culmination of all this drang and sturm is being televised to the breathless masses around the world. 

Captain America very much is there, though. He stands behind President Ellis and the FBI director in a dark suit and soberly accepts the thanks given for his spearheading the search and ultimately neutralizing this dangerous terrorist. All three confirm without a shadow of doubt that the Winter Soldier has been killed, the body exhaustively identified and the remains buried at sea. The press conference is being broadcasted live through dozens of networks. The Secretary of Defense makes a statement. It seems like half the Pentagon is there. 

The Black Widow is there too, of course. She arrives later, after the motorcade has gone and the last big names are Rogers and Wilson extricating themselves from the press; in fact she waits until they’re leaving the building to approach. She’s dressed severely in a black pantsuit and stilettos, her hair drawn back in a sharp ballet bun. 

She is not alone. The man next to her is tall, dark haired, exquisitely coiffed and tailored down to his spotless white snakeskin boots. It’s a chilly morning, so he’s wearing a massive fur coat that looks like it was taken directly off the back of the most expensive bear in the world. He’s got gloves, too, black leather with bold white stitching; his tie pin is gold and sports a dime-sized diamond cut in the shape of a star. The virulently orange lenses of his sunglasses make it difficult to tell what color his eyes are, but it just might be possible that they are a light grey, almost blue. 

Steve and Sam both stare, stopped dead on the sidewalk, as the pair saunters towards them. “Sam,” Natasha greets when they get close. “Steve. I hoped we’d run into you here. I'd like to introduce you to Boris. He’s a very close friend.” 

Sam makes a tiny wheezing noise, like a whoopie cushion ejected from an airlock. Steve imagines this is what field mice go through when they run head-on into a snake and die from shock.

Natasha blinks at them in concern. “Is there a problem?” 

“Nope, nothing, not a thing,” Sam says, only slightly strangled. “That is definitely. Boris. One hundred percent Boris. Hello! Boris.” 

“Hello,” Definitely Boris says, in a Russian accent thick enough to float rocks. “Natasha speak very highly of you, major. And you, keptin,” he says, extending a gloved hand to shake. 

Steve feels every ounce of the super serum in his cells working overtime to keep his straight face. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Boris,” he says, sounding only five to ten percent like his larynx wants to turn inside out. 

“Pleasure is mine, keptin,” says Extremely Boris, maintaining relentless eye contact. 

“Boris will be staying in New York for a while, but I thought I’d show him the sights,” Natasha says. “The Capitol, the museums. And introduce him to you, of course.” 

“Is that so!” Steve says, perhaps the slightest bit more high-pitched than usual. 

“Oh yes. He has extensive interests in finance,” she adds confidingly. 

“Da,” Absolutely Boris says. “Very interesting. I go to men, I look at their money, I say, how did this get here? Is of much interest. And when they lie…” Indisputably Boris smiles broadly at Steve, revealing an honest to God gold tooth. “Becomes very, _very_ interesting.” 

“Wow,” Sam says, not quite managing to sound appropriately appreciative. 

“We thought you’d like to have dinner with us,” Natasha says, ignoring him. “Somewhere nice. Boris’s treat.”

“Oh, well, if _Boris_ is paying,” Sam says. 

“Would you like ride in my limo, keptin?” Doubtlessly Boris says. His eyes behind those hideous lenses are doing something that can only be called twinkling. “Very comfortable.”

“You know what, I think I will,” Steve says. He’s getting the hang of this. “Can I offer you my arm, B - oris?” 

Excruciatingly Boris gives him a gold-studded leer and sets his hand on Steve’s proffered elbow. It’s possibly quite a bit heavier and stiffer than, say, an ordinary hand made of flesh. “I think we will become very close, keptin.” 

"Oh, I really hope so,” Steve says. “I almost feel like we know each other already.” 

"Wow, it’s like you’re _psychic,”_ Sam says under his breath behind them, then _“Hey!”_ when Natasha audibly steps on his foot. 

**Author's Note:**

> this is not a continuation of the vacation snackfics BUT it is still a snack so it goes in the pile. I'll probably make a convenience series eventually once it's all out of my system

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Extremely Boris](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15804873) by [deisderium art (Deisderium)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deisderium/pseuds/deisderium%20art)
  * [(Podfic) Naturalization Status](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15918930) by [PashminaChinchilla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PashminaChinchilla/pseuds/PashminaChinchilla)




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